Knock on your heart and ask it to let go. Tell it that it should no longer feel the way it does. It more than likely will just mock you and continue to dig its self a grave for which there will be no return from. So then, how does one go about severing the heart from the cognitive mind? To allow it to still feel, to still beat to a drum all its own, but keep it from the mind. To not allow the mind to register those dark seeded, mysterious, beyond rhyme and reason feelings?
These questions will test the true fabric of one's soul until their dying breath. There is no return once that single threshold has been crossed. There is no looking back, there is no reliving the past as it was written, the actions of the past might rear their ugly heads once again, but the outcome will be vastly different. We live, we learn. We are wounded but we heal. We recover, we become better with age, we mature, we obtain knowledge that will build the bridge over what we once thought was uncrossable. We will stake out on our new adventure within the same life as we have lead, with a new out look. A new prospective on the old. See things we blindly over looked once before. To not become duped and lead astray again.
There will be those same lingering wraiths in the shadows that will try to slip out and sink their talons in deep, and not let go. To hold captive the fears that once lived and flourished in the fertile grounds of the mind and heart. However, this time around, they will not be given the fuel they need to grow and fester; to infect everything around them. Their poison will not be given the host to dwell within. Where there was once dark there is light, to expel those shadows, to give way to the room to move forward. To trudge, to continue against the odds, against person will, but through sheer determination. Seeking out strengths that were once weakness.
Confidence will be the rouse, strength will soon dispel such rouse and make it golden truth. IF truth was not harsh, then there would be no need to lie. No need to mask what the truth holds within the ugly brutal black and white. Truth is not grey, it is the black to the white. It is the hand that wraps around the throat, strangling the breath of dream and hopes. It is the children's laughter, but the irony that soon the innocence of that laughter will turn jaded. Such is the way of the world, giving that protective veil of innocence, where one can blindly move through life believing that all is well... but soon death, decay, deceit, lies, cruelty, all of the sins of the world will slink their ways in with their seductive dance of ribbons, to pierce the veil and rip is asunder. To expose the virgin eyes to the world around them.
Anguish will come and there will be naught one can do to stop the whirl wind tango that will progress. It will start out small, things that can be over looked, but soon, there will be no turning the cheek, no putting on the blinders. One day, we all have to face the ugly truth, to face it head on and lift our chins and steel our wills against it, or become the moth crushed under the wheel of fate.
Fate... She is one bitch not to be reckoned with. Where karma is the wench with razor blades, and she cuts deep on the occasion, but there is a calm with karma, but with Fate, there is no tenderness to her touch. There is no reprieve from her vicious cycle. Giving and taking, much like death... never knowing what hand you will be dealt, when to take a risk, when to rise the bet, when to hold, when to call... never knowing if it a bluff that she holds. Risk... it is all a game of risk mixed in with the clever coyness of a fox, the cunning sharp wit of woman... clever as any warrior... trusting in your self and knowing that with a mocking smile from fate, that you are utterly fucked.
Tenderness, bah, it is a laughable word. There is nothing tender in this world. It is vicious, it is the way it is.
No, no, there is no need to pity, that is a horrid state of mind any way, and an utter waste of time and energy. But hate... now hate is a powerful emotion, where revenge blooms. It is wicked, it is that one emotion where passion has no counter part of compassion. Where it is purely selfish and there needs be no reason to apologize for it. Hate will rear an ugly head in the form of jealousy, but those that know the emotion well, will realize it is no jealousy, it is not envy, it is not any other form of the pathetic emotions that makes one less than what they are. They are normal human emotions, sure enough, but they are emotions for slaves and whores. They have no place in a free woman's world. They have no place in mine.
I laugh, and people wonder why. Believing that I should be.... what??? Destroyed, crumpled on the floor of my villa wallowing in.... defeat... pft. That is the last thing that will happen. There are just somethings that require a more refined and elegant approach. With a cold touch, and a seductive burn. To tap into the heritage of my blood lines, to ascertain from it what I will need to become everything I am meant to be.
Time is just the road on which I ride the gales of. It is what I do with that time that will define me, not the other way around. The events of my life have been that, mile stones. From one memory to another, it is how I react to those events, how I come out on the other end, not the event it's self. Me... I ... my self... I am in control of it. I am the one that gets to decide how I should feel, how I should react, how I should progress.
One little fork in the road. One is the easier way out... the other is darker but is the higher ground. My love for Cos, has lead me to take the higher road. To continue forward. I will not let my past define who I will be tomorrow. I alone will make that choice.
There will be those same lingering wraiths in the shadows that will try to slip out and sink their talons in deep, and not let go. To hold captive the fears that once lived and flourished in the fertile grounds of the mind and heart. However, this time around, they will not be given the fuel they need to grow and fester; to infect everything around them. Their poison will not be given the host to dwell within. Where there was once dark there is light, to expel those shadows, to give way to the room to move forward. To trudge, to continue against the odds, against person will, but through sheer determination. Seeking out strengths that were once weakness.
Confidence will be the rouse, strength will soon dispel such rouse and make it golden truth. IF truth was not harsh, then there would be no need to lie. No need to mask what the truth holds within the ugly brutal black and white. Truth is not grey, it is the black to the white. It is the hand that wraps around the throat, strangling the breath of dream and hopes. It is the children's laughter, but the irony that soon the innocence of that laughter will turn jaded. Such is the way of the world, giving that protective veil of innocence, where one can blindly move through life believing that all is well... but soon death, decay, deceit, lies, cruelty, all of the sins of the world will slink their ways in with their seductive dance of ribbons, to pierce the veil and rip is asunder. To expose the virgin eyes to the world around them.
Anguish will come and there will be naught one can do to stop the whirl wind tango that will progress. It will start out small, things that can be over looked, but soon, there will be no turning the cheek, no putting on the blinders. One day, we all have to face the ugly truth, to face it head on and lift our chins and steel our wills against it, or become the moth crushed under the wheel of fate.
Fate... She is one bitch not to be reckoned with. Where karma is the wench with razor blades, and she cuts deep on the occasion, but there is a calm with karma, but with Fate, there is no tenderness to her touch. There is no reprieve from her vicious cycle. Giving and taking, much like death... never knowing what hand you will be dealt, when to take a risk, when to rise the bet, when to hold, when to call... never knowing if it a bluff that she holds. Risk... it is all a game of risk mixed in with the clever coyness of a fox, the cunning sharp wit of woman... clever as any warrior... trusting in your self and knowing that with a mocking smile from fate, that you are utterly fucked.
Tenderness, bah, it is a laughable word. There is nothing tender in this world. It is vicious, it is the way it is.
No, no, there is no need to pity, that is a horrid state of mind any way, and an utter waste of time and energy. But hate... now hate is a powerful emotion, where revenge blooms. It is wicked, it is that one emotion where passion has no counter part of compassion. Where it is purely selfish and there needs be no reason to apologize for it. Hate will rear an ugly head in the form of jealousy, but those that know the emotion well, will realize it is no jealousy, it is not envy, it is not any other form of the pathetic emotions that makes one less than what they are. They are normal human emotions, sure enough, but they are emotions for slaves and whores. They have no place in a free woman's world. They have no place in mine.
I laugh, and people wonder why. Believing that I should be.... what??? Destroyed, crumpled on the floor of my villa wallowing in.... defeat... pft. That is the last thing that will happen. There are just somethings that require a more refined and elegant approach. With a cold touch, and a seductive burn. To tap into the heritage of my blood lines, to ascertain from it what I will need to become everything I am meant to be.
Time is just the road on which I ride the gales of. It is what I do with that time that will define me, not the other way around. The events of my life have been that, mile stones. From one memory to another, it is how I react to those events, how I come out on the other end, not the event it's self. Me... I ... my self... I am in control of it. I am the one that gets to decide how I should feel, how I should react, how I should progress.
One little fork in the road. One is the easier way out... the other is darker but is the higher ground. My love for Cos, has lead me to take the higher road. To continue forward. I will not let my past define who I will be tomorrow. I alone will make that choice.
I will no longer be the captive in this little game, even if I remain the prey, I will not remain the captive. Under the thumb no longer. With in the embrace of destiny I find a new path to travel. So fate... bring it on... lets dance under the pale moon light... what devils will you throw my way.
