Secrets of the Heart

A puzzle box and a storm, lightening and confusion... it all just wraps and coils tighter as the ahns pass by. The waves rock, I hear the howl of the winds and fears strikes true to my breast. I feel the shadows creep, their talons are just mere horts from my soul.

The sway of the lamp, its fire casts erratic patterns along the wall and the tears fall down my cheeks. Unable am I to stop them, unable to seek or find comforts. Returning home and yet it feels as if chains hold me, not the love for my home stones.

Promises and hopes, dreams and failure is all a gilded cage in which I feel trapped inside of.

The secrets that are locked in my mind and heart give me a liberation, and yet they have to be suppressed. Hidden and denied. Love for one, love for another, but am I even truly their one, could I ever have been so foolish as to think that my tarnsman had come to be with me because he wanted me, or is there some other reason, or was it simply because he knew how I would crumble... can he even let go? Could I let go?

Will the tempest forever rage, giving me agony for all my days, with the fierceness in which we loved, can that ever die... apparently it can be replaced, but can it be forgotten, it can be ignored. Oh the white hot searing pain that pierces the veil, giving no quarter to the heart.

I am torn... for which do I choose... I long for two men... I am trapped in this paradox called love... a woman's curse for her heart. If it is true, its the worst Pandora's box that could ever be opened. For what lies inside might never be what the seeker is in fact searching for...

It could be bleak and terrifying. A few will battle what comes their way, the demons that lie deep in the abyss. Discovering mysteries, truths, fears, hopes, dreams, shadows, and a love that is incomparable, a love unparalleled to any other. A love that stands alone, a love that will draw the moth to its flame. The flame that is eternal even long after the one that sparked the love is gone.

However, when another sparks a love inside the heart, the battle starts, an internal war between two loves that hold no candle to another... two that are so different and yet hold her heart, trapped in their talons as the prey of a tarn. No escaping it, no running from it, no denying it, no matter how I look at it, I am not getting any clarity on the matter... I thought I had moved past it. Moved on, and yet I am only 100 steps backwards.

My secrets will remain locked in my heart for as long as I can keep them there... never will they see the light of an other's eyes. They are mine and mine alone. I will not let another spoil what it is that is me, they seek and yet they shall not find... there is naught there for another to seek.

My heart is a place of webs and mysteries. She will not let you in and will not let you go, a paradox of her own. And epiphany will not be had this night, enlightenment shall be even more so the puzzle that will stump far greater women than I.

Both men say words that are so euphoric, like a litany in the way they whisper into my ear, they whisper to my heart and soul... powerless and helpless do they render me and they just do not s e e it. And perhaps they never will. The treasure that is in their hands, the diamond in the rough. A few glimpses here or there, but they have never fully discovered the surface of the diamond, they have never stayed long enough to buff away the rough edges...

The fire that is trapped inside is still undiscovered... and there rests the secret to my heart... what lies in the center of the puzzle box.

Black abyss

He is my temptation... My weakness... my paradox. Why will I not let him go, why wont I just walk away & close the door?

Am I but a choice, one he knows will quake when he is near, soar with his touch, be consumed by him...?

His tempest rages when he is near, he breathes her in, drinks her... but does he still crave her? Can he ever be happy? Will his black heart open to allow the storm to rage between them again?

Upon the wings of his tarn the tarnsman came in like a thief in the night and stole the heart of the maiden once again. Stoked her fires and made her burn.

In the night she was his, for that one amazing night they were a million passangs away from anything else that mattered.

However, no matter how long the night, dawn always breaks and reality always returns. He again left.

Now the tempest is in the black abyss, confusion, doubt, guilt.

The want to disappear is stronger than ever before, to fade into the inky shadows to never be heard of again, to be forgotten and never spoken of again... to never rage again, the dawn awakes and the tempest is gone... nothing but broken bits and pieces of her remain.

.....

Each day hurts a little more, each day I am more confused. My heart screams for one, my mind the other... my soul screams for peace... I know naught where I will turn... I know naught where I will end up... For now I am utterly confused... my love to one, my heart to the other... Lei to the hunter, Lorelei to the ray of lar torvis... but to which do I choose... choosing one of the other is a place I rather not be... both take a pain away and both inflict a pain upon my heart... why did I have to be found so desirable... I sought solace to soon... i forced my self to be ready and was not... now I feel trapped with no room to move... no air to breathe. I am lost... I am alone...

And yet tonight my hunter came to me, he did not take no for an answer. And before him I crumbled, I am unable to go through with this when before me stands my weakness, the who stole my heart and never gave it back... I was foolish in believing that he had... never had he.

It hurts he has found two great loves that seem to have trumped my own love for him, and that makes me want to in spite run to the hills with what I feel for Ard and see where it grows, and in turn makes me want to show him the depths of love he will never know...

Sadly all that get close to me find out I am in fact a dull and boring woman. Only am I worth it when the chase is still on. Remain unattainable and they want me, sign the contract and its over... stay out of reach they fight you, allow my self to be caught and I am tossed aside for the next flash in a pan...

Strange how things work... where will I turn... what is the next page to be written in my never ending pages of life, the ink is still wet and in anticipation I await the next turn... with a broken heart and poison tears... I wait... I take what bitter apple I have and move forward... time is time and I cannot create it, I cannot stop it, I cannot do anything, even if I still time continues to move on, with or without me... so there for upon the wings of time I drift... I follow the whispers of the fates... I follow what path is less traveled to make a new path...

Never do I take the easy way it seems... I should have for my own sanity walked away from Lucien, he does not deserve me, I know this, but I still love him, even if I want to take the heaviest vase and drop it on his head or hit him in the face with a plank of wood... I still love him... and yet I found a love with Ard... can a woman Love two different men in two vastly different ways...

How to I gauge this, how do I work with this... I love one with a reckless abandonment, and the other with a soft soothing ribbon of seduction, one is white hot, the other is a simmering burn... they are different and yet same, loves to which there is no bounds... I am trapped in the middle... and yet want not to hurt either man...

Sweet sorrow... can I believe either one... when they call me my heart or my love... I know its selfish to want to feel the special place... to feel as if I do in fact hold something far greater than any other, a place above any other... however i am stuck with a hesitation... its my greatest plague that infects me... this hesitation... this fear of actually just being a catch... a conquest... a man's choice... instead of a priority...

Mirage

What a pretty picture I paint each day I walk through the halls here in Fehu Isa, each and every day I find a new way to shield the pain that I harbor in the depths of my heart. A pain I am unsure of the depths its self.

I was a fool into thinking that I could just walk away, that I could look else where for the comforts and delights once again. Is my happiness just a mirage in attempts to mask the true depths of my pain.

The pain of a woman so deeply in love still to a sleens ass that it burns. In the night I am in anguish needing him, wanting him close...

My heart is broken, torn between two. The tempest love, the true love, the depths of a love that cannot be touched and to my bane unable to vanquish. Unable to quit, unable to put to the past, I cannot let it go. And then there is the love that is just a mirror of a love, a lar torvis ray in my darkest ahn. I believe I have been to quick to jump at this one, to quick to hide my pain.

In my dreams last night he came to me, my fierce tarnsman, he lifted me into his arms and cradled me to his chest. I was crying hard in my sleep. He could see the anguish that was there written on his Lei's face. The pain that was coming through with the deep shroud of sleep. No veil to hide the truth from him.

His words were so seductive and so right, whispering right to my heart and soul. Pulling me into that serenity that was him. I was where I have always wanted to be. But when morning came I crumbled again, pulling the tunic I kept of his close to my self and cried so very hard again. Why wont the tears stopped. What pulled the veil from my pain, why must I face this pain in the worst of ways.

Its ripping me apart from the inside out, and while I stand in a world of people I feel utterly alone screaming and drowning. Not a soul sees the pain that is swallowing me, the pain that it the poison in my veins, the sinful and selfish desires of a woman that sits in silent agony.

Peril is my new concubine, my new succubus to give me the comforts in the worst of ways. The darken shadows linger, the pain is bright and there.

I know naught what I will do, I know naught what I should do. Should I go forward knowing my whole heart is not in it and follow through with the promise of a new contract. Or should I beg out of it, I never beg, but I am close to it this time...

How I long for the days and nights where I was numb, where I did not feel the pain. I refused to deal with it. He will never know, he will never see the pain, he will never hear me calling out his name into the harsh ice winds of the north, or see me cry. He wont see it, he never will.

No matter the lengths I go to, to forget it, to get past him and the love it never seems to do me any good. Please Odin, I will beg of you to ease my suffering heart. To heal it, ice it over again. I can put the front up, I can pretend I can hide and mask it all. But this, this I fear even I do not have the strength for.

Dark cold night, be my seducer, pull me into the nights cold harsh winds and steal my pain away. I feel so broken, and so utterly alone...

Unshed tears...

The night sounds here are so different than those from my villa on Cos. I sit now in the window seat of my chambers here in the north and look out side hearing the winds calling, their ever sweet song, that some how pulls the strings of my heart.

I realized the night that Lucien lost his daughter was one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with, the grief he felt, the renewed grief I felt, and the tears that were so brutal to feel, words were suffocated in my throat. He called me my Love, and I wanted to stay in his arms.

I still feel the burn in my own heart, the pit of my stomach gnaws at me. I hear his voice calling out 'Lei' in the distance, the breaking of his heart was there in his voice, his tears tore me apart. I felt my walls crumbling, I tried to remain strong, I cannot get past what I feel.

Now I feel trapped, like chains bind me and I have fallen into the thassa. Drowning and not a soul around to save me this time. I must find my own way to the top. I must find a way to force my self closure. But can you ever find closure to a tempest. To something that still runs rampant deep inside. To something that is still burning as hot as a forges coals that melts steel...

Can I deny what it is that I feel... I am stuck... pure agony. Love that will not let go, I refuse to let it go. He holds my heart, and yet I ran from him. It is true, I feel strongly for Ard, however I feel like its too soon... I am not ready... I am not ready to enter that contract again.

Why is it so hard, why can I not move past my tarnsman... my storm... my hunter... why wont this prey just run when caught in his cross hairs. When I do run, I have always left it open for him to capture me... to show me that passions again, to give into those desires again, to love him again... but yet I held back... W H Y????????????

I do not even know my own heart, I cannot figure it out from one day to the next... I cannot think as the thoughts swim, the nightmares are so vivid... I long for the comfort of those eyes that twin mine, that eclipse my own... the sound of his voice in that low rumble against my ear, his hands in my hair... hearing him call me his Lei...

The look in his eyes that night, asking me for help and I froze... I was scared... and he will never understand it... he will never see it. I love him and trying to force it from my heart... If there is any mercy... it will be to end my suffering... I pray that the north will soothe my heart, will ease the ache, but its arms I know my only solace will be found, but its my hunter's arms I cannot be in.

Now I cradle this small infant and I cry knowing I cannot hold my own sons, that hold perfect images of their father. My one and only true love in this world. My one and only soul mate. A destructive love and yet I cannot let it go. I left him to make his choice easy. I could not risk the rejection should he have chosen her over me. So I made the choice easy. I thought making him hate me would make it easier. But it didn't. And it never will...

DAMN IT.. .You damn ass... I love you and I cannot quit you but I promised my self to another... damn it... I need you... I love you... where are you my love... my tarnsman... my hunter... Do you look to the stars and even think of me... is this love you could not live without better than what we had...

Do you ever want me in your arms again... do you want to hear me fall asleep, call your name... before you I felt helpless and yet powerful... beautiful and strong... Nothing seems to make any sense what so ever. There is so much I wish I could tell you, I want to slap you, and kiss you. Hurt you and make love to you... but I can't... I must go forth as if I care nothing for you. I must go on as if nothing ever happened between us...

I must serve my home stone and my caste... I must move on, and yet I cannot... you would never believe me no matter what I said... Forever will you hold the passions of my heart, the pulse of my soul... I am trapped...

I am going to take this call for aid to the north as a sign from Odin, and stay here until I am no longer needed, be it a hand or an envar... I will not leave them empty handed... if Cos has need of me, she will call me back. For now... I try to find solace in my own empty furs, in my broken heart, and tormenting dreams... and let the northern lands heal me, where no medicine can.

It never will be the same... I know naught what will happen... but I know that I am broken... I am hurting and in the dark of the night, the winds carry with them the deep agony of my sorrows, my siren's cry of misery... my longing cry for you...

I said forever... and I now know its so very true... never will my heart let go... and I do not think I want it to.

Dance of Fear

Sent on a mission for my home stone, for my caste, for the Ubar of Cos to aid a Jarl at an out post... but why does it feel as if I am being cast out from my home? Why is there that lurking sinking suspicion that something far more dark and dangerous lurks around the next corner?

I feel the cold hand of fate on the back of my neck and my stomach knots, my heart falters and panic sets in, my eyes are cold and empty, and yet full of emotions and fear. Returning to the out post that I had once taken safety within... where childhood friends reside and yet I am reluctant to go.

Tears swell and I know not the reasons why they fill my eyes, will the blurry vision be enough to allow me to see what is happening or will they be the mask to hide what is there, what is being done. I leave behind my island to serve her and her Ubar, to serve my caste. But my heart is there and I am not... behind me he is left and I feel alone. Broken for some reason.

There is something that is pulling and twisting, tugging and nagging. Why wont it release me...? Perhaps it is me that will not let go, perhaps it is I that holds onto something that is just a mist and fog of imagination.

Broken and shattered I feel as the waves under me rock the ship I am upon, I find no solace in the waves as I once did. Nightmares are ripped open, from my parents death to my still born daughter... the nightmares are so palpable that they are tearing me apart, causing real violent tears to take hold of me, the sobs shake me so hard. Never before have I been so emotionally raw and to the point where the emotions take hold and no longer does logic and reason reign, but chaos and insanity. They are the guiding beacon for me...

Shadows of the past dance through my mind like the taharian fires, the deep rooted and passionate emotions rise to the surface and in my furs I sit and scream to the skies in hopes for some kind of release. Some kind of answer or sign, something, anything to ease my suffering. To ease my troubled mind... my heart falters... something does not feel right about this trip.

Something does not sit well with me, here I am just ehns from the beaches of the out post and I do not know what will happen.... Jonas is here and yet I still fear... but what... WHAT... oh Odin grant me a shred of mercy, a shred of strength to brave what is before me...

The storm has never passed, and it might never past, but my ray of lar torvis has broken through, I pray that the fates will not let the storm take over again and shield out that ray of light. I cannot do this again, I cannot get over him yet again...

-tear drops splash the page, her hand shakes and she screams in agony and pain-

I am truly in a place I never expected to be in my life... Dance does my fears... Dance does the nightmares, dance does the love that I feel that now embraces me tenderly without words knowing how to soothe the hurt and calm the tempest when she rages... I miss him already...

Secret Puzzle

Dare to dream

It was a day of pure emotional turmoil that spread through out the city and island... a deep heaviness that laid over us all. It blanketed us with sorrows deep and profound. It stole the breath and kicked us when we were down...

We lost the young daughter of our Ubar as well as a skilled black smith Savi... and one of our own was denied fire, salt, and bread today... our isle has suffered a deep pain this day...

It was a pain that dug deep into the breast... it seized my heart and caused me to grive tears... I longed to hold my own sons to smell their sweet breaths and to craddle them close, but, alas they were not with me...

Alone I was not... for my future companion, the raider of my heart came... he knew my sorrows... in his embrace I found serenity and strength. I found comforts... I took them, I accepted comforts from another, when I my self have denied it for so long... have refused to let someone so close, I had sworn off finding love, never wanting to feel its bitter pain again, and yet I was drawn to him, this raider that stole my heart.

He did not give up, he refuses to let me go... and bound to him I become through the bonds of love that are being forged between us... the fire that we hold is raw and rare to find... I fear losing my self in side of it.

The words ring in my head over and over again, 'Do you dare dream of how incredible we will be?' How can those words weave such sweet sunder to my heart and my hopes. Can it be possible to be great... to be beyond the stars.

Can I dream... should I dream... should I set my self up and pray I wont fall to the ground yet again. Shattered the dreams of a young girl were, of a young woman, a mature woman... can the shrew be transformed... can I find the reasons for hope and dreams and spread my wings and just explore and simply enjoy what it is...

Enjoy the beauty of love.... YES...

Even if a shadow of the past refuses to let go, my ray of light is stronger and it is the light I am drawn to.

Secrets Untold...

Secrets untold... secrets of the night, secrets of the dawn, the heart, the thassa... they all carry secrets with them. Its in the way we move, the glances across the room, the knowing smiles, the glints in the eyes, the gestures, the hidden remarks that fly through our minds, leaving a lightening effect in the depths our eyes...

A secret I hold, one of a deep and profound nature... this secret holds a tie so surreal it shakes my very heart... in the small little infant that I keep, that I protect i shelter with my very life. He breaths and steals my heart. I care for the one that has been placed in my arms by the fate of the kings, but it is not the infant I hold in secret deep in the river of shadows that consume my soul, it is the fact I know of his birth, I know where this little one comes from.

So when the time is right all will be well, he will have the protection of the Landau's for as long as the name stands he will be protected with our lives. We are not faint of people we will stand tall and proud. Together as one, family until our dying breath.

Sleep now little son, sleep well. You are a joy in my life, and forever shall you be protected as if you were my own. Sleep now and rest...

Lithium

Lithium

I feel the burning in my veins again, the true breath filling my lungs, the pound of my heart that echos into the night...

I do not want to forget what it is like to feel, what it is like to know the vast range of emotions that we as humans are capable of feeling, of expressing...

My tears have run dry, my lips tremble as the anger rages deep inside of me...

His sent calms me, it gives me a pull to a center I have long forgotten. I do not wish to fall into the darkness, I wish to stay in love with my own soul... leaving it open for him to explore.

Why wont the hunter let me go... why wont he just release me, he has casted me to the side twice before and now he tries to attack me in my weakest point, to drive that stake so deep I scream in silent agony for I refuse to let the world see my pain.

A new day of hope, a dawn of reason. He is the breath I long for in the middle of the night, the touch to my heart that protects it, in his hands I leave it, trusting him not to shatter it, not to waste the gift I have given him. The depths of a love that truly knew no bounds... it will go the extremes for the love returned.

The allegro tempo carries the blood racing through my veins when I hear him say such to me... proclaiming his love for me... let the hunter have his battle, he has already lost one prize and will lose many more should he stay on this path. Should he continue down this road he will not find his way back. He will drown in his own deeds, in his own world. For the ground he stands upon is shaky, the pieces along the edge crumble one hort at a time... soon there will be not turning back.
Its too late for what ifs, its too late to turn back. I know now what its like to feel again. To see the colors and feel their warmth. The chill of winter touch my heart no longer, for the warmth of love hath planted her sweet seeds deep within.

Cast away are the shadows that linger, that haunt, the poison that ran its course has now found the antidote to its effects. My heart heals more with each and every beat within the shroud of love. No longer will I stay locked inside my mind and keep my soul and heart hidden from the world. I cannot die a slow and agonizing death of hope and emotion in one. It would be as if I were drowning upon my own blood.

Fear cannot reside here, I cannot cling to them... in his hand I place mine... Can he... will he be the one to fight them off... to embrace me with his arm and shield me from the nights haunting terrors that lurk, the evils that linger just beyond my touch...

-a single tear drop on the page-

Never again...

Sanity within melody

DON JUAN (PHANTOM)
You have come herein pursuit of
your deepest urge,
in pursuit ofthat wish,
which till now
has been silent,
silent . . .

I have brought you,
that our passions
may fuse and merge -
in your mind
you've already
succumbed to me
dropped all defences
completely succumbed to me -
now you are here with me:
no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided . . .

Past the pointof no return -
no backward glances:
the games we've played
till now are atan end . . .
Past all thought
of "if" or "when" -
no use resisting:
abandon thought,
and let the dream
descend . . .

What raging fire
shall flood the soul?
What rich desire
unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction
lies before
us . . .?

Past the point
of no return,
the final threshold -
what warm,
unspoken secrets
will we learn?
Beyond the point
of no return . . .

AMINTA (CHRISTINE)
You have brought me
to that moment
where words run dry,
to that moment
where speech
disappears
into silence,
silence . . .

I have come here,
hardly knowing
the reason why . . .
In my mind,
I've already
imagined our
bodies entwining
defenceless and silent -
and now I am
here with you:
no second thoughts,

I've decided,
decided . . .

Past the point
of no return -
no going back now:
our passion-play
has now, at last,
begun . . .
Past all thought
of right or wrong -
one final question:
how long should we
two wait, before
we're one . . .?

When will the blood
begin to race
the sleeping bud
burst into bloom?
When will the flames,
at last, consume
us . . .?

BOTH
Past the point
of no returnt
he final threshold -
the bridge
is crossed, so stand
and watch it burn . . .
We've passed the point
of no return . . .

Poison blade of pain

Never will I understand the ever changing tides in my story... the ripples to the currents, to the surf to the light spring rain to the raging heart wrenching storms that leave nothing but devastation in its wake... the sword of misery has run its course... true to its mark it has landed deep in to the fiery bosom of a mother's love turning it to a mother's anguish in but a blink of an eye. No mercy, not qualms with seeing the strong woman crumble inwardly and fall into that darken obulet to be lost to the pains that swirl around like shadowy talons ready to lash out and make a new cut into the fabric.

The night was young, the day had been well, one that seemed to show no signs... no reason to present what it is that was handed to me this evening... the letter that sent my heart dropping. It cut deep and there is gutted me like a simple fish... again... a g a i n... he took my sons from me again. And did not leave a reason... men and their reasons... he cares not for who he hurts, how he destroys in his path to achieve what ever goal it is he seeks...

I find one small ray of happiness and its poisoned... its spoiled the moment the air touched upon it... my agony is now raw and real. I know not what I have done this time... I have him his closure... I have moved on and yet I am still punished... I am still thrown to the wolves left to be ripped to shreds again...

The tears feel like red hot cinders upon my face as I barely see the ink and page before me, my fingers tremble as they have never trembled before... I nearly gave my life for my sons... I risked all to return to my home... my home stone and to them. They are my true purest achievement in all of this world... they are me and I am them... we share the same blood, it runs in our veins... they cry and I hear it even if we are parted... I feel them always.

But, now... now they have been taken from me, and to see them is to give my self over to slavery... which is no where inside of me... I have been tortured near to death before and never did I surrender even to save my life... I am a free woman....

I opened my heart to another's love and it captured mine in return... and that's punishable...then when is his due coming... he wrote me off once... and then again... I am the fool here for believing that while our shared tempest raged always between us, there was ever a chance... if he truly loved me as he said he did... it would be me he was with... but he has found a love he said he did not know was possible... so is it wrong for me to have found the same...

Am I not allowed to love... am I not allowed to life and breathe freely... to drink of love and let it fill my every days... am I not allowed to be loved... am I suppose to live as a shrew forever casted way as a never will be again... to as has been... second rate....

NO....................................... I have laid down and hid far long enough... they take and take... bits and parts of my heart crumble and fall away, to never be seen again... down and down the well I fell, in the obulet of darkness and pain I resided and there was his hand... he saw the crack... he saw the real true flesh and blood woman...he saw me and he rescued me....

I was dealing... finding happiness in misery... learning to cope and just settling. Well this woman wont settle... she will not give up on something... I cannot sit back again and not live my life...

In the galley I have sat too long in this life... So I took a chance again... this time on love... and for that I am to lose my Sons... I am to just turn over and offer up my belly in surrender...

NEVER... I cannot not surrender... I am a Landau... and we do not back down, we do not take the easy roads... we cannot.

My tears of sorrow, of love lost are turning to tears of hate... hate grows now deep and true...a cold ice... I feel the crystals kiss upon my skin as the anger dwells.

Tonight... I sit alone in my son's empty room... tonight I hold them close to my heart. Knowing I have not seen them for the last time... pain is a life... pain is real... this will not pass over quickly...

This will not end well I fear... this will not be an easy road to take, but take it I will with the dignity and grace he believes he can so easily rob me of... he knows me little to think I have rolled to my back in surrender... no... he knows me naught.

Embraced within Rapture

The night did not still, it was a current that raced through me without mercy. Stealing my very breath, taking me to a journey that seems to have no logic, no boundaries in of its self. Pure erotic chaos that ripples, it surges with every pulse of my heart, every quickened breath I draw.

The night of pure rapture and abandonment, losing my self in the arms of the man that has laid his claim upon me... the one that enriches my life, challenging me to new heights and distances. His hands travel my body and it responds. His voice a velvet whisper against my ear and I quiver, his copper eyes rake over my body, I whimper.

Again he took me into his arms and showed me the stars. By passing all the moons, going far and beyond the planes of reality.

Dawn comes and its voice that wakes me from my slumber, the sweet kiss of the lar torvis rays touch upon our naked flesh and all feels right. Gone are the shadows of the night, and yet their sweet seduction still lingers in the air. The whispers shared between lovers mingle with the sweet fragrance that wafts into the room from the open winds.

The Thassan sweetened air drifts in, and while the sweat still lingers upon the lovers entwined with one another drifting to sleep again was easy.

The day was spent, in the furs with one another. Learning each delicate feature, exploring each new found place. Creating love, making love, giving into the heat sparked between them.

The night falls upon them again and still they cannot part from one another. Caught in the arms of rapture. Held tangled so sweetly in the webs that they have woven together.

Rages does the tempest and rarius with in the scared walls of the Siren's lair. There their passions are explored, their they are free to give into one another. Find one another, giving into the sinful, pure, raw, natural physical natures of their sexes...

Again, the gales drew them together. It was not by mistake they ran into one another. It was not by mistake their eyes met from across the room, like a familiar story from a long ago time, there was a connection. The hidden needs, the political dance in public.

But flaunt does the peacock male, in all his grandeur. His tail feathers are plumed and the female is drawn to him, captivated by the display of his colors... but its not the flash and glitz that has won her... no... no

For the tempest is not swayed so easily... it was the man that she found under it all. It is the man that has captured her heart and stole her breath. It is the man that is now the 'Keeper of her Heart.'

His woman, for as long as he shall have her.

Love is a deep and mysterious emotion that has many shades and many different levels, so mysterious is she that falls into love, drowning in the intoxicating thrill that it takes her through. Addicting it is... and then with the wonderful evil of Lust that adds to the burning fuel...

The lusting for one another, be it from the ultimate in displays of affections to the smallest and most simple of things too many take for granted... they lust for one another.

Complete is the tempest... but she does not calm... instead she rages more. Her gales are fierce, her prowless is relentless...

Keeper of Secrets...

"One Scar... One Story"

Intimacy comes in many different shades... many different types... the sharing of something so profound and in such a manner that it becomes seductive and alluring. When two people come together, their lives finding a path that twines like a grape vine.

Reaching out together and finding a common place.

The winds were so very light, the exotic sent of the Taharian oils that were burning clung to the soft chiffon fabric that conceals my veranda from prying eyes caressed along my cheek, catching it between my fingers I looked out into the distance and there was a new feeling deep inside of me.

A quicken that made my heart flip and flop, beat just a little faster which in turn caused me to catch my breath, there in the distance with his tarn behind him upon the beaches, the beautiful moon beams falling down around him, casting shadows upon his visage, and I knew in that single moment it was true.

I had asked my self time and again if it could be, was it, is this...

L O V E

Sweet blissful, painful, tempting, soothing, wonderful...

YES! My heart was reaching out for him even before his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him. Our hearts met, they were in unison. Oh it was just a moment that had to stop time. Eyes met and our souls touched, when our lips met it was the sealing of a fate. A destiny that had laid in wait. The threads of the tapestry have been laid out and now the pieces were coming together.

Our lives have become connection, in some way, the strange irony of the skies have seen to it that we find one another. The raider tarnsman of Trevian blood and the Fiery Siren Tempest Physician of Torvian blood... Cosians... together now.

He is persistent... he will not let go what he has found, what he has ensnared. He has discovered my secret, he says, the kink in my armor, he says... and will guard it and protect it. That the shrew ice queen venomous ost was in fact a vibrant mature woman with a laughter that made the mountains sing and the stars weep. A smile that would steal the soul, and a love so deep the thassa has grown jealous, the deep mysterious woman has found her anchor. The one that best counters her.

And in a moment, a sheer act of intimacy she let him close to her, let him inside her walls, giving him her heart, and trusting him not to shatter it.

Again he asked me to share the wine of free companionship, and without a draw of a breath, with no hint of hesitation I accepted it. I have agreed to become his companion, to share this life with him. To take the chance on love again, take a chance on him.

He sparked a fire that I knew not possible, the white hot flames burn deep and true.

"I love you"

I am yours and you are mine.

One scar one story...

There before my fire at Sage Siren we sat on the furs, and for the first time I let someone other than Jonas listen to my heart. Listen to her unique beat, running his fingers down the scar along my breast bone, telling him the tale of my heart. Of my surgeries.

He in turned shared a secret with me, a shaping and molding story of his past, a scar a story. And in it all we shared a deep intimacy I did not know possible between free man and free woman. It was nothing I have experienced before. Unwrapping one another one tale at a time.

Dawn of Love

It came as a surprise, it came as a blessing. It, he, was the breathe to my soul, the beating of my heart. When his hand touched my chin and turned my face to his I was lost inside the eyes that looked down into my own.

So full of raw emotions that took them over. So lost was I in the moment that would set me on fire. And such a sweet slow burn it was. His words touched my ears and the tears only came more... "So she can shed tears.'

He saw the passions that keep so bottled and tightly sealed away. Some how, after it all he got under my skin and set my body to trembling. It had been so long since I was seen. Everyone looked, but no one truly saw me. Saw the pain, the passions, the love possible that burned inside of me...

His lips found mine and to his arms I fell into. His embrace was warm and strong, it was affectionate and passionate. The kiss burned my lips and I kissed him back as if he were the drink of life I had laid in wait for.

His love is so different from any other. It came as a surprise, I knew not how to accept it. My heart fought it... it did not wish to listen to his words. To the emotion that he offered me when there I lay in his arms, bared and exposed utterly to him.

But now as I sit... I know that it is him I waited for... it is him that my heart longs for. Its in his touch, its in his lips, its in his eyes, something honest...

He challenges me in ways I did not expect... I find my self seeking him out. Finding my thoughts drifting to him and there they hold, there they still, a calm comes washing over me, warmth claims me.

My heart is open now... open for a happiness that I believe now I deserve. I see his copper eyes every where I turn...

He asked me to be his companion... I am scared... but what am I more afraid of... I have to take the leap... I have to go to him... I need to be with him... I need to know what its like to feel like a woman... I need to know I am desired, I am loved, I am cherished... Please Odin... let him be the one I need.

We are so alike and so different... our minds follow the same wave patterns, we fall the same way... but his arms are the ones I want to fall into each night, and wake to each morning. Its his lips I want kissing me, his voice I hear when I am alone. My strength and my weakness. I need him... I want to be so ingrained... to lose my self into a love that will stop the world...

We hail from two different lands, but yet we both love Cos, and always will. Our passions run as deep as the thassa and as honest as the day is long. He has claimed the Siren's heart, he has charmed the Ost, he has invoked a tempest that knows no bounds.

Love I am open to you, hope has never left me... its time I accept the truth with in.