Each day hurts a little more, each day I am more confused. My heart screams for one, my mind the other... my soul screams for peace... I know naught where I will turn... I know naught where I will end up... For now I am utterly confused... my love to one, my heart to the other... Lei to the hunter, Lorelei to the ray of lar torvis... but to which do I choose... choosing one of the other is a place I rather not be... both take a pain away and both inflict a pain upon my heart... why did I have to be found so desirable... I sought solace to soon... i forced my self to be ready and was not... now I feel trapped with no room to move... no air to breathe. I am lost... I am alone...
And yet tonight my hunter came to me, he did not take no for an answer. And before him I crumbled, I am unable to go through with this when before me stands my weakness, the who stole my heart and never gave it back... I was foolish in believing that he had... never had he.
It hurts he has found two great loves that seem to have trumped my own love for him, and that makes me want to in spite run to the hills with what I feel for Ard and see where it grows, and in turn makes me want to show him the depths of love he will never know...
Sadly all that get close to me find out I am in fact a dull and boring woman. Only am I worth it when the chase is still on. Remain unattainable and they want me, sign the contract and its over... stay out of reach they fight you, allow my self to be caught and I am tossed aside for the next flash in a pan...
Strange how things work... where will I turn... what is the next page to be written in my never ending pages of life, the ink is still wet and in anticipation I await the next turn... with a broken heart and poison tears... I wait... I take what bitter apple I have and move forward... time is time and I cannot create it, I cannot stop it, I cannot do anything, even if I still time continues to move on, with or without me... so there for upon the wings of time I drift... I follow the whispers of the fates... I follow what path is less traveled to make a new path...
Never do I take the easy way it seems... I should have for my own sanity walked away from Lucien, he does not deserve me, I know this, but I still love him, even if I want to take the heaviest vase and drop it on his head or hit him in the face with a plank of wood... I still love him... and yet I found a love with Ard... can a woman Love two different men in two vastly different ways...
How to I gauge this, how do I work with this... I love one with a reckless abandonment, and the other with a soft soothing ribbon of seduction, one is white hot, the other is a simmering burn... they are different and yet same, loves to which there is no bounds... I am trapped in the middle... and yet want not to hurt either man...
Sweet sorrow... can I believe either one... when they call me my heart or my love... I know its selfish to want to feel the special place... to feel as if I do in fact hold something far greater than any other, a place above any other... however i am stuck with a hesitation... its my greatest plague that infects me... this hesitation... this fear of actually just being a catch... a conquest... a man's choice... instead of a priority...
And yet tonight my hunter came to me, he did not take no for an answer. And before him I crumbled, I am unable to go through with this when before me stands my weakness, the who stole my heart and never gave it back... I was foolish in believing that he had... never had he.
It hurts he has found two great loves that seem to have trumped my own love for him, and that makes me want to in spite run to the hills with what I feel for Ard and see where it grows, and in turn makes me want to show him the depths of love he will never know...
Sadly all that get close to me find out I am in fact a dull and boring woman. Only am I worth it when the chase is still on. Remain unattainable and they want me, sign the contract and its over... stay out of reach they fight you, allow my self to be caught and I am tossed aside for the next flash in a pan...
Strange how things work... where will I turn... what is the next page to be written in my never ending pages of life, the ink is still wet and in anticipation I await the next turn... with a broken heart and poison tears... I wait... I take what bitter apple I have and move forward... time is time and I cannot create it, I cannot stop it, I cannot do anything, even if I still time continues to move on, with or without me... so there for upon the wings of time I drift... I follow the whispers of the fates... I follow what path is less traveled to make a new path...
Never do I take the easy way it seems... I should have for my own sanity walked away from Lucien, he does not deserve me, I know this, but I still love him, even if I want to take the heaviest vase and drop it on his head or hit him in the face with a plank of wood... I still love him... and yet I found a love with Ard... can a woman Love two different men in two vastly different ways...
How to I gauge this, how do I work with this... I love one with a reckless abandonment, and the other with a soft soothing ribbon of seduction, one is white hot, the other is a simmering burn... they are different and yet same, loves to which there is no bounds... I am trapped in the middle... and yet want not to hurt either man...
Sweet sorrow... can I believe either one... when they call me my heart or my love... I know its selfish to want to feel the special place... to feel as if I do in fact hold something far greater than any other, a place above any other... however i am stuck with a hesitation... its my greatest plague that infects me... this hesitation... this fear of actually just being a catch... a conquest... a man's choice... instead of a priority...
No comments:
Post a Comment