1st day of Fifth Hand of the Month of Kavars (12) in the year 10,158 CA:
I stand on the deck of the serpent ship that glides gracefully over the currents of the Thassa, I close my eyes and hold my arms out and for once I feel like I am flying solo. So free to breathe deeply the cool air that stings my lungs.
I hear in the distance the sounds that call me, the spirits that lurk, the truth of my blood lines, what makes the soul of me... where my fire comes from...
Finally my heart and mind are both open to listen to them and heed their call.
So come spirit guide... come to a lost soul and give flight to the bird that for to long has been in a gilded cage, captivity has taken its toll. The lost eyes of one that drift in my mind, her voice lingers in my heart, I remember the song, her last song to the infant daughter, the smell of her hair, the warmth of the day, the swaddling blanket that kept me safe from the harsh world...
No longer am I so guarded, now the wool has been lifted, the veil of innocence pierced and I have become jaded to the wonders of the world. No longer does the fire rise in my eyes with just the lift of the winds, no longer does my heart race with a wild beat of a herd of wild kaiila, now it remains steady, still, boring as the bland gray I see the world in...
Where are my colors again, give me thy paint brush and let the erotic colors of the world enthrall me once again... where are my lost visions, guidance, I truly need some... my heart longs for one thing, my soul torn asunder, my mind reining in my passions to keep logic and humility at the cusp... nothing about this life makes sense any longer.
I drift with no cause or purpose any longer... do I still have the healing touch I always carried with me, can I dance the intimate dance with death... oh yes... Death I know you linger, your cold breath upon the back of my neck, as you try to lure me, try and seduce me to your wicked and dark ways. I know the tango in which we dance, the intimate dance you and I share... the dance I refuse to let you lead... the war in which you place in my hands... the blood that stains my memories, the torture that I my self have had to endure to ensure another life was kept from your talons... oh the cold touch of death is so very bone chilling... but have you not been scorned and burned by the Siren's touch...
Death... tonight you will not get to sink your talons into me... tonight you do not get to take me from this world... Once I wished for death, for it would be easier... but let you win... never. I will fight with my very last breath to remain as I am...
From the depths of the murky water I will rise like the Phoenix and again all will be left to catch their breath in awe...
Do not worry for me... I will be all right on my own... it hurt like the pain of a thousand daggers to my heart... and it will hurt worse as it heals, but heal it will... and the pain of a love that scorched my heart wont have the power to drawn me to my knees in an agonizing pain that ripped the screams from my very soul... I will find reasons to dream again. Reasons to hope again... I thought I would never make it past... but I will never doubt my own strength...
Death... Love... War... all are so close... to entwined and so seductive to a passionate woman... my obsession's... my desires... my dreams... tightly do they weave into the very fabric of my life... forever will he pull upon the beat of my heart, drawing me near with the ache that only he can quench... however, I cannot let the addiction continue... I must severe the vein that runs with the poison of love... I must purge my self of it... the war is with in my heart, the death of something that was so untouchable, so pure... so darkly obsessive and possessive... it tore my heart to pieces, and yet it too was the one that healed it... brought the tears of every beautiful human emotion and too drew them away from my cheeks... with a kiss that could kill or set to flight... a touch that could freeze or set aflame...
Can a love like that die... it surly must... for I have felt the bitter cold of Love's pain... and I alone will bare the burden of it... I alone will shoulder the pain that has the power to destroy me, to cripple me, bring me to my weakest point and leave me to my own torturous mind and unforgiving and unyielding love... to know it alone and to take into me all the pain that it has endured and anew find my breath of air....
Where is the breath in my lungs... where is the reason for the beat of my heart, the reason for the passions fire in my soul... where is the hope to dream and the visions to guide...
Great spirits I beg of thee to guide me, conduct your magic and bring me forth to the lands that will give me my strengths once again... lead me into battle with you as my shield and sword... give me the strength to fight and endure what is to come... another chapter another journey in this world...
I stand on the deck of the serpent ship that glides gracefully over the currents of the Thassa, I close my eyes and hold my arms out and for once I feel like I am flying solo. So free to breathe deeply the cool air that stings my lungs.
I hear in the distance the sounds that call me, the spirits that lurk, the truth of my blood lines, what makes the soul of me... where my fire comes from...
Finally my heart and mind are both open to listen to them and heed their call.
So come spirit guide... come to a lost soul and give flight to the bird that for to long has been in a gilded cage, captivity has taken its toll. The lost eyes of one that drift in my mind, her voice lingers in my heart, I remember the song, her last song to the infant daughter, the smell of her hair, the warmth of the day, the swaddling blanket that kept me safe from the harsh world...
No longer am I so guarded, now the wool has been lifted, the veil of innocence pierced and I have become jaded to the wonders of the world. No longer does the fire rise in my eyes with just the lift of the winds, no longer does my heart race with a wild beat of a herd of wild kaiila, now it remains steady, still, boring as the bland gray I see the world in...
Where are my colors again, give me thy paint brush and let the erotic colors of the world enthrall me once again... where are my lost visions, guidance, I truly need some... my heart longs for one thing, my soul torn asunder, my mind reining in my passions to keep logic and humility at the cusp... nothing about this life makes sense any longer.
I drift with no cause or purpose any longer... do I still have the healing touch I always carried with me, can I dance the intimate dance with death... oh yes... Death I know you linger, your cold breath upon the back of my neck, as you try to lure me, try and seduce me to your wicked and dark ways. I know the tango in which we dance, the intimate dance you and I share... the dance I refuse to let you lead... the war in which you place in my hands... the blood that stains my memories, the torture that I my self have had to endure to ensure another life was kept from your talons... oh the cold touch of death is so very bone chilling... but have you not been scorned and burned by the Siren's touch...
Death... tonight you will not get to sink your talons into me... tonight you do not get to take me from this world... Once I wished for death, for it would be easier... but let you win... never. I will fight with my very last breath to remain as I am...
From the depths of the murky water I will rise like the Phoenix and again all will be left to catch their breath in awe...
Do not worry for me... I will be all right on my own... it hurt like the pain of a thousand daggers to my heart... and it will hurt worse as it heals, but heal it will... and the pain of a love that scorched my heart wont have the power to drawn me to my knees in an agonizing pain that ripped the screams from my very soul... I will find reasons to dream again. Reasons to hope again... I thought I would never make it past... but I will never doubt my own strength...
Death... Love... War... all are so close... to entwined and so seductive to a passionate woman... my obsession's... my desires... my dreams... tightly do they weave into the very fabric of my life... forever will he pull upon the beat of my heart, drawing me near with the ache that only he can quench... however, I cannot let the addiction continue... I must severe the vein that runs with the poison of love... I must purge my self of it... the war is with in my heart, the death of something that was so untouchable, so pure... so darkly obsessive and possessive... it tore my heart to pieces, and yet it too was the one that healed it... brought the tears of every beautiful human emotion and too drew them away from my cheeks... with a kiss that could kill or set to flight... a touch that could freeze or set aflame...
Can a love like that die... it surly must... for I have felt the bitter cold of Love's pain... and I alone will bare the burden of it... I alone will shoulder the pain that has the power to destroy me, to cripple me, bring me to my weakest point and leave me to my own torturous mind and unforgiving and unyielding love... to know it alone and to take into me all the pain that it has endured and anew find my breath of air....
Where is the breath in my lungs... where is the reason for the beat of my heart, the reason for the passions fire in my soul... where is the hope to dream and the visions to guide...
Great spirits I beg of thee to guide me, conduct your magic and bring me forth to the lands that will give me my strengths once again... lead me into battle with you as my shield and sword... give me the strength to fight and endure what is to come... another chapter another journey in this world...
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