Truly, I am unsure of how it all happened. It was one small brief connection of eyes across the distance, and then the meeting to gain my pardon. As time went on, we found our selves running into one another more often than not. Spending time with our children together and the warm embrace I found my self in with him near.
But, in between it all there was several profound events, he had his two loves after me, one utterly tore him to pieces with her poison that she leeched into his heart and then her black heart turned against him, their daughter and home stone. As the time continued his hith broke his heart. She a karian wench...
Something happened... I do not understand it and I do not know how it did. But from the night at Fehu Isa to now we found one another. Our hearts found one another, on one side of I coin I did in fact feel like the last choice the last resort, and yet I do not feel such. I feel it in his kiss, his touch, his gaze. He, my tarnsman, stalks his prey once again.
Will my Uncle agree, I do not know and do not pretend to know. Is there fear in my heart, no. I do know that many will protest, many will not understand how it is that I am still in love with him. That I still choose to be with him, but as the saying goes, shame on him for fooling me once, shame on me if I let him do it again.
We promise nothing but that we will love one another. And he promises not to take another free woman to his furs. Life has never been easy for either one of us. I do know that children are not the driving force in this joining. We both have our fair share of children, and IF... we choose that can happen at a much later date. If we make it past one year, I will consider it. If my heart continues to hold out.
But this time is different, feels the same, but yet there is something different. It is not ashamed of sharing intimate moments with me in public. Its just a comfort, and it was the last thing I expected. It just snuck up and bit me in the ass.
I never expect he and I to join again. Perhaps be a comfort or a lover on an occasion but never did I think he would take me as his companion again. Time will tell how this will play out.
Many unanswered questions, and some will not gain answers for some time.
My only fear is that Therise will return, he will leave me and will return to her. And should that happen, I fear it would be the one thing to kill my heart. Kill my love. It may not happen, but honestly I do not put it past her to try and woe him away from me. She has that kind of sway that kind of something about her.
No, I do not take many risks if any at all. I am play by the rule Landau. It was how I was raised. I was not allowed much room to go off and do as I wish. I do not poison for fun, I do not get people ship off to the block or murdered. I am physician and as such have this odd sense of respect for the living.
My heart is what it is. Fuck them.
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